Adult cams one on one
The draw now is the community itself, the relationships he has formed over time."I like coming home and chatting with people," he says.
"Often the conversation in the room is pretty superficial, but talking behind the scenes in IM can get more substantive."He does admit to the occasional "wank session," though.
Throughout our interview, I notice that he often uses the word "play" to describe what people do while in the room.
That's not a term often associated with depression or obsession, two conditions in which you forget how to play.
Women have told him that they prefer to see faces to cocks, so he keeps his camera pointing higher, à la Beautiful Agony.
And just so you know, these women aren't saying "I'd rather see your face" to avoid hurting his feelings. But even those of us who delight in dicks want to see your facial expressions, too.
He advises newbies to introduce themselves, to jump into the chat and start talking.
"When someone gets to know you, they might add you to their (friend) list," he says. I know people who do that all the time, but they don't do it with complete strangers."Kirk has been a member for almost four years, and rarely has cybersex anymore.
"If you ask somebody to do something on their cam, boom, you're out.
It's true that cybersex is not for everybody, and it can be emotionally dangerous even if you're not in a committed offline relationship and risking infidelity.
Some cyber partners even end up leaving the virtual space to get married. But it still irks me that it's such a shock when I explain that having sex online does not mean it's your last resort.
We had a private webcam conversation that confirmed what I already knew: Nothing but the tech has changed since my days as Aphrodite.
Kirk says his main responsibility as room admin is "to kick out the creeps."Minors and spammers are booted without question; so is anyone who starts "directing" – telling other people what to do on their cameras – or harassing other members, particularly the women. " or trying to lure premium members to free instant messengers is also grounds for bouncing.